


fool me once

by saretus



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: But also, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, i guess omfg, tbh lkajsf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2020-05-18 21:22:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19342894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saretus/pseuds/saretus
Summary: Fill for: 'The bros have managed to meet up with Luna BEFORE Altissia, but they find themselves surrounded by suspicious imperial troops. They aren't sure how they're going to get out of this one, but then Luna just sighs and falls into a dramatic swoon.What follows is the most poorly acted damsel-in-distress scene Luna or the bros have ever done.'





	fool me once

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt [here](https://ffxv-kinkmeme.dreamwidth.org/4747.html?thread=9373835#cmt9373835).
> 
> I am legit so scandalized that no one filled this prompt before. its feckin gold lkjaslkfm  
> also i didn't quite... fill out the 'OT4+Luna' section laksmf i didn't really find any room for it and i wanted to keep it short rip

“Luna, over here!” Noctis can’t help the grin stretching his lips. _Finally_ , he’s able to see Luna, and to think he’d find her just outside of Lestallum of all places.

She’s as beautiful as her photos suggest and, of course, far more grown up than the girl he remembers. He approaches a little awkwardly, maybe stumbling a pit on a rogue stone, but she’s still smiling and pulling him immediately into a hug as soon as he’s near.

“Noctis…!” She sounds overjoyed. Noctis’ happy that _she’s_ happy, honestly, and she kisses his cheek in greeting. He feels the flush already creeping up his cheeks, but she separates before he can do anything else. “You look healthy,” she says, smiling softly and likely thinking of the last time they met in person.

“And you look—great.” Noctis clears his throat, looking at the ground for a moment shyly. “Better than great, I mean.”

“Indeed?” Luna looks charmed. “I’m glad I’ve run into you, Noctis. We’ve many matters to—”

“Noct, on our right!” Prom hisses out suddenly, looking just as flummoxed by Luna’s presence as Noctis is, but way more composed than Noctis currently feels.

Before he can really think about it, he looks over, and sees the troop of Magitek troopers approaching. A man leads them, a blond, and Noctis is sure he’s seen him before. Loqi, was it? But—shit. That means the Empire is onto them.

Gladio shifts subtly in front of Noctis and Iggy immediately moves behind him. Automatic responses, Noctis knows, but—

“We can’t risk a fight here,” Iggy says worriedly, “the civilians may be drawn into it and our faces will make the front page for days. We’d have to avoid every major settlement…!”

“We’ll distract them,” Gladio says grimly, “Noct, you take Lady Lunafreya and—”

“The lost Prince of Lucis and the wayward Princess of Tenebrae,” Loqi sneers, coming closer. Of course he’d recognize them right away. “My luck has turned, hasn’t it?”

Noctis tenses. At the very least, maybe Luna can get away. She deserves that much, after all, especially after going through the battlefield Niflheim made of Insomnia—

“Oh, my word!” Luna suddenly cries out. Her hand lands heavily on Noctis’ shoulder and she staggers forward with a surprising amount of force. Noctis turns automatically, scrabbling to support her figure, and his mouth gapes uselessly in surprise. Luna leans back against him, a hand poised dramatically against her brow, and her eyes close. “Oh, hold me, Noct Gar!”

“I, um—” Noctis says intelligibly. What’s gotten into her?

“M-my chest burns…!” Luna mourns loudly. _Dramatically_. She sways in his arms and Noctis almost drops her. As it is, he falls to his knees, and looks at the others. Gladio and Iggy are just as surprised, gawking in an otherwise comedic display. Only Prom looks like he’s going to start cracking up any second. “Good Niflheim sir, you’ve caused me distress…!”

Noctis has no words. Iggy and Gladio don’t seem to have any either.

Prom gets into it straight away, kneeling on one knee beside Luna and checking her temperature with the back of his palm. “You buffoons!” he proclaims, with a terrible Tenebraean accent, at an increasingly outraged and confused Loqi, who looks back at his troop of MTs like they can comment on the situation. “How _dare_ you! She’s very sensitive to being called royalty by blondes!” Prom wipes an eye, like he’s crying, and shakes his head at them. “I made that very mistake myself, once. The results were catastrophic! We had to rush her to the hospital!”

Loqi looks dumbfounded now. “No, that’s not…!”

“She’s going to die!” Gladio suddenly cuts in with a surprisingly loud wail, so much so that Noctis flinches from it. “Oh, gods! Her heart can’t handle it!” He starts… clearly fake sobbing into his hands, falling to his knees beside Luna.

Luna, for her part, swoons more. Her hand dramatically falls to the side as she ‘loses consciousness’.

“This isn’t the Lady Lunafreya!” Noctis cuts in, trying to sound as snobby and grieved as possible. He thinks it works. “This is—this is my wife! Uh—Yuna… freya…” He almost winces at how terrible the lie is.

Loqi seems horrified, however. He raises his hands, as if in defence. “No! I never meant to cause her distress…!”

“Yunafreya, may you join the late Lady Lunafreya in the afterlife…” Iggy whispers, bowing his head as if in prayer. “You’ve done your parents proud by being named after the Oracle at birth.”

“Yuna…” Noct whispers, reaching for her warm hand and clutching it tightly. It makes his heart beat faster at the contact, but Loqi seems to buy it further.

“Look, just—get her to the hospital! Clearly we were—mistaken,” Loqi says, a little desperately but still trying to retain some ounce of professionalism. “Th-the Empire apologizes for, uh, for… causing Yunafreya distress.”

“Just—please go,” Prom says, sighing heavily and sweeping a hand to the side in some overdramatic gesture. “You staying here is a reminder of how tragically we lost our precious Yunafreya…”

Gladio sobs loudly in the background. It sounds terrible, like he’s gargling Cup Noodles.

“Y-yes, of course!” Loqi says, and hastily turns to his trooper. “We’re leaving!”

Loqi hurries away. The MTs quickly follow him.

For a moment, they all stare at each other in silence.

Luna starts laughing first, giggling before snorting out loud and finally falling out of Noct’s arms. She rolls a moment, Noctis’ eyes widening as he attempts to lift her again, but she’s clutching her sides and wiping away her tears of laughter before he can.

“Oh, _Astrals_ ,” she giggles, sitting up and smiling at Noctis gratefully when he rests a supportive hand on her back. “That was wonderful.”

“That was some impressive acting skill you both had there,” Gladio says, snorting himself. There’s a wide grin on his face. “Can’t believe we fooled the Empire with just that.”

“Y’know, that accent was just _terrible_ , Prom,” Noct laughs now, unable to help it.

“Hey, if I’m getting ribbed, then Gladio deserves to get ribbed too!” Prom complains, though he’s grinning as well, sitting back on his haunches. “I mean, what was that crying?!”

“It was rather horrendous,” Iggy chides, chuckling behind his hand. “Though luckily good enough to be convincing.”

“Oh, no, no, if we’re harping on my sobbing, then we gotta roast Noct for his ‘ _Yunafreya_ ’. I mean, seriously? There surely was some other name you were thinking!”

Noctis shakes his head. “Um, nope. Sorry.”

“I suppose you can’t expect more than whatever creativity of his that created ‘Noct Gar’,” Ignis says.

Luna looks mock-offended. “Pray tell ‘Noct Gar’ is something the masses would appreciate as a literary achievement! I’ve made it up on the spot.”

“Seriously?” Prom asks, laughing. “No way! So both you and Noct came up with the same lame fake name?” He suddenly realizes who he’s talking to and slaps a hand to his mouth. “Um, uh, Lady Lunafreya, I mean…!”

Luna waves a hand. “It’s fine. I daresay this has bonded us all in a strange way.”

“Speaking of bonding, I’m starving,” Noctis says, and he stands before offering his hand to Luna. She takes it, and he hauls her up. “What say we grab something to eat?”

Luna smiles at him, her expression as warm as he remembers whenever she regarded him. “I would love to.”


End file.
